Apologies

I am aware that often what I write here seems to be a "manifesto" of sorts. In other words, I am working out my position, how I think, answering questions that I have asked myself or someone has asked of me.  I have spent a lot of my life doing and feeling, but not so much of my life actually thinking.  For instance, I know that sprituality is the most important part of my life, I spend most or a great deal of time doing; reading, writing, praying, and I know how I feel and what is important to me.  Lately, I have been thinking about how to convey these ideas, and so I write in this blog.

Last night at dinner I found myself in the position of trying to explain to a table full of people who are Episcopalians, non-practicing Catholics, and agnostics, just why I remain in the Catholic Church.  Although I have feelings about this I didn't have an articulated answer for this question.  Back in the first centuries, this would have been called an "Apology", in other words, an explanation to non-believers about why I choose to remain in the Catholic Church or call myself a Christian. I said something last night about Catholic Social Teaching, about a strong sense of sacramentality in the broader scope, and I talked about what I did not see as essential to my faith, specifically assenting to every last word out of the Vatican.

This morning I spent a little time writing, journaling and following are some of my thoughts:

I was asked why I continued to go to the Catholic Chruch given all the baggage.  I tried to explain.  I think I made some good points.  I remain there because there are certain things that speak to my heart that I have only found in the Catholic Church.  There is that broader scaramentality. I should add that sitting at the Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament has the capacity to transform me, but my understanding of the whole of the universe as revelatory of the Divine is the most important thing that Catholicism has taught me.  It was the Catholic church that taught me what it means to be in a community of people not divided by race or social standing, a community of people where love and compassion were the guiding principles; a community where hospitality and the welcoming of everyone was most important. A community where the following of rules or standards of behavior were secondary to the encounters among people that had the capacity to transform lives.  From the beginning, when I was in my 20"s as a Social Worker, I have admired the Catholic Church's stance on social teaching.  I was inspired by the people in Latin American countries that stood with the poor and sometimes died because of it.  It is because I know this also to be the Catholic Church that I stay or came back.  The work that some Catholics still do the world over is incredible.

At the same time the Catholic Church as an institution and a heirarchy is rife with disasterous decision making, controversy, disingenuous posturing, and complicity with evil and the status quo.

I stay because if everyone with my vision leaves, then we leave this church in the hands of the above.